What’re ya’ gonna do now, kid?

This is the question everyone asked my daughter, Tessa, when she became a homeschool graduate. She was the first student to homeschool from kindergarten through twelfth grade in either my husband’s or my family, so, naturally, many of our relatives doubted her ability to thrive in the “real world.” Friends were curious about her plans, and other adults remembered wrestling through their own hopeful, anxiety-filled decisions after high school.

Because Tessa graduated ahead of schedule, and we knew we had quite a bit of domestic and overseas travel ahead of us, our family decided to take the year after her graduation to explore her possibilities. We were leaning toward some combination of community college and/or residential college.

Of course, as our family began talking through opportunities for Tessa, I quickly realized she wasn’t the only one whose future was suddenly full of options. I needed to figure out what was next for me.

For the past 18 years, I had been a full-time, stay-at-home mom, busy with my community and homeschooling my daughter. I treated motherhood and homeschooling like a vocation. I became efficient, focused, goal-oriented. Where I found myself lacking skills, I studied; I learned; I applied theory. I read books on management, home economics, parenting, gardening, history, science, art—you name it, I read it, learned from it, and found practical applications.

To be honest, after quitting my job as a medical billing manager for a growing orthopedic practice to stay home with my newborn girl, I found it difficult to be “just a mom.” But, by the time Tessa graduated, I couldn’t imagine any job that would be equally gratifying or fulfilling.

As people began asking Tessa what her future held for her, I suddenly realized her graduation meant that my most rewarding occupation had ended. And I worried that I would never again find such meaningful work.

I felt lost.

Searching for a roadmap.

To find my way, I began asking for advice from every wise person I knew: my husband, family, friends, clergy. What new adventure is possible for someone like me?

I spoke to my brother, a software engineer and several times executive of successful start-ups. He laughed and told me to forget about a career. “You are too old,” he said. (Brothers always tell the hard truth.)

My aunt, who also had been a stay-at-home mom, became politically active after her sons graduated. She ran successful election campaigns for Texas congressmen, senators, and a governor. She wrote policy for the state attorney general, as well. My aunt agreed with my brother. “Your time is best spent volunteering,” she said.

A pastor I spoke with knew that I spent my free time learning and reading. He recommended I return to school and complete my unfinished bachelor’s degree. My college roommate, who also withdrew from college after only a couple of semesters, recently finished her degree and recommended I locate a university that would accept most of my (now dusty) credits and do the same.

My laid-back husband suggested I do whatever I want. He didn’t need me to supplement our income and was fine with me staying home, looking after “home things.”

This was the first time I had ever been in a position like this: no clear map. So many options. And I could only pick one…

The Journey Begins

During this time of searching, I started a daytime women’s group, taught workshops, and spoke at teens’ and women’s retreats. I wanted to keep doing these kinds of things.

But the idea of returning to college filled me with longing.

After high school, I enrolled in an out-of-state college, and when I found myself on campus for the first time, I felt like I was home. I remember thinking to myself, “If I could afford it, I’d live my entire life on a college campus, studying, learning.” I loved everything about it, and I deeply regretted withdrawing after only three semesters. I quit so early only because I worried about the amount of debt I had already accumulated in such a short time. (It ended up taking me ten years to pay off that debt. Ten years!)

Meanwhile, as I began thinking about options for my future, Tessa decided, after seeing her college entrance exam scores and receiving a couple of generous scholarship offers, maybe she should consider getting a degree herself. After touring a couple of campuses, she decided that she didn’t want to pay for housing. So, we started looking locally.

We checked out the nearby community college, and it still seemed expensive. Not only that, but the academic counselor we spoke with wouldn’t even help her figure out how to ensure that all her community college credits would transfer to the university of her choice! Surely we were not the first people to ask about this. Helping students figure out how to transfer credits seemed like a natural service that community colleges should offer.

During the same visit, I had brought my college transcript with us, just to see which of my credits might be accepted toward a degree. The answer? None.

Tessa and I both left feeling discouraged and frustrated. That is until I remembered Accelerated Pathways from all the homeschool conferences I had previously attended. The Pearson representatives I had met at these events seemed helpful, and this gave us one more option to explore. I checked Accelerated Pathways out online and decided to contact them. We spoke with a Pearson representative who encouraged us both to send in our transcripts (Tessa’s from high school and mine from college) to be evaluated. Then we waited for an academic advisor to call.

What if I get to do both?

As we waited, I continued struggling with my desire to finish my degree. If I returned to college, what degree should I choose? Am I finishing to fulfill a goal, check a box, cross it off the bucket list? Or do I hope to do something with the degree? Would I be headed toward a vocation? If so, should I finish the teaching degree I began after high school? (That didn’t seem very appealing.) If I decided to go down a different road, would I get to use any of those expensive credits I had on my transcript?

And what would that mean for the nonprofit I was part of? When I asked for advice, most people suggested that I should pick one path and follow it full time. Even though I love learning, and I was sure I’d enjoy returning to post-secondary studies, would the trade-off be worth it? I found mentoring, leading small groups, and speaking at retreats to be deeply meaningful. Was I willing to give that up?

I didn’t have to wait very long for answers.

A Pearson advisor phoned very quickly after looking over my transcript. With their help, all but ½ of one of my credits would transfer. I couldn’t believe it! On top of that, the last five semesters needed to earn my degree would end up costing less than what I’d paid for the first three! Wow!

Unlike the community college we visited, the Pearson advisor assured us that every class Tessa or I took through their Accelerated Pathways program would be fully accredited and guaranteed to transfer to the college of our choice. They even offered us some study materials for a few CLEP exams if we wanted to bypass some classes.

All this, and a flexible schedule! Since Accelerated Pathways offers—for the most part—online, self-paced courses, I would have the freedom to learn at my own pace, going as fast or as slow as I liked, arranging my daily schedule in a way that works for me.

After learning about Accelerated Pathways, I realized that I didn’t have to choose just one path. I didn’t have to make an either/or decision. It’s as though two roads became one, and my choice became clear. With a flexible schedule, I could earn my degree and continue building relationships. I could be available for mentorship and be a full-time student! Bonus: I wouldn’t wind up in debtor’s prison along the way. Accelerated Pathways would make it possible to afford my dream of finishing my degree and still enjoy helping people grow.

Tessa realized Accelerated Pathways would give her the same flexible lifestyle she had enjoyed as a homeschooler, and she was pleased she wouldn’t have to spend a lot of time in traffic, commuting to and from campus. Plus, she really loved the idea of graduating from college debt free.

I was sold, and so was Tessa.

We started taking classes with Accelerated Pathways in January 2017. As I now complete my final semesters of college, I’ll be honest—I still have no idea where life will take me next. But what a great time I am having on this leg of my journey!

Want to find out if Accelerated Pathways is a good fit for your family? Check out our website to learn more about the program and how we can help you!

 

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I’ve been an accidental leader for most of my life. Perhaps this is why once I decided to return to college for my undergraduate degree, Organizational Leadership caught my eye. This seemed like a degree that would help me be more intentional about the next phase of my future.

What You’ll Learn in an Organizational Leadership Degree

Organizational leadership prepares students for work in the public, private, and nonprofit sectors. It examines theories of leadership, management, organizational behavior, and change. It also lays the groundwork for managing complexity in domestic and international environments. This may seem abstract, but I’ve grasped practical skills, too.

For example, one of the most important capabilities of leaders is self-management and continuous personal growth. Especially in light of emerging business and financial scandals in the last decades, leaders need strong, ethical spines; and this requires periodic, honest self-examination and improvement.

Thriving organizations grow and adapt. Leaders must be on the leading edge of this change. I’ve studied this topic from a leadership perspective, a management perspective, an organizational perspective, and an individual point-of-view in my organizational leadership degree. I’ve learned about managing human and intellectual capital, organizing, and leading teams and planning projects. I’ve enjoyed and found immediate application for everything I’ve learned, but there were a few things that surprised me:

How Organizations Level-Up

One of the things this degree covers is the structural requirements for scaling an organization.

As organizations grow, they tend toward hierarchical management structures in order to remain efficient and consistent in their products and services. However, there’s a threshold for this kind of structure, a point at which the structure will no longer support or sustain growth (typically when an organization becomes global). When this happens, leadership is decentralized. In other words, power is no longer only at the top of the organization; leadership is redistributed throughout the organization. When this happens, the average employee is charged with a substantial amount of responsibility and trust. So how can leaders empower others while being confident that individual goals and organizational goals will be aligned?

Coursework in organizational leadership explores the answers to this question and many others.

Good Leaders Have Self-Management Routines

As mentioned previously, leaders must pursue continuous personal and character growth. This is part of a portfolio of self-care. Some of the leaders in my life have been prone to burnout, exhaustion, and illness in the name of “serving the cause.” However, effective leaders practice healthy personal care: spiritual, relational, physical, emotional, etc.

This should have been self-evident to me, but for some reason, I had never heard this explained by any of the great leaders in my life. After experiencing some burnout and illness myself due to an imbalance of work and rest, I organically began to recognize when I needed to take some time to recharge. Now, though, I do this much more intentionally (and without guilt). I also build times into my days, weeks, months, and year to evaluate personal growth and develop strategies for improvement.

What Can You Do with an Organizational Leadership Degree?

This is a management degree, and depending on which leadership electives you choose, it can prepare you to work in businesses, government, and philanthropic organizations. It is particularly useful for human resources management, as an organizational change management consultant, training and development manager/consultant, nonprofit manager, and in public management.

No matter the target for employment, if you’re considering a degree in Organizational Leadership, use the opportunity to immerse yourself in the learning by applying what you learn to organizations in which you’re already involved. Use the knowledge and skills you learn along the way to add value in your volunteering, in your relationships, and even your current job.

I’ve heard from managers and nonprofit leaders that their organizations suffer from a leadership vacuum. Mostly, I think, because people are more concerned with “doing things right” instead of asking “What’s the right thing to do here, and how can I participate?” Leadership in its simplest form is beneficial, proactive influence. Even if you’re an entry-level employee at a coffee shop, movie theater, or fast casual restaurant, you can take the initiative and show leadership. In doing so, you’ll add value to the organizations and the lives around you.

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Without my knowledge, a young adult illegally drove away from my home late one night. Shortly after she left, she called frantically from a few streets away, asking me to pick her up and drive her home.

An officer had stopped her because her vehicle matched the description of one being driven by a criminal. They quickly realized she wasn’t the person they needed to apprehend; however, after running her plates, they discovered that her license had been suspended due to a two-years-old, unpaid speeding ticket from another state.

This story does not end well.

The officer handcuffed her, planning to make an arrest. She managed to talk her way out of further consequences by pledging to leave her car on the street and promising that a friend living nearby would drive her home. Though she avoided jail, this problem created a domino effect in her life, and she was ultimately unable to get the job she wanted at a nonprofit organization.

This young woman is a good person, but due to traumatic family circumstances beyond her control, she had to navigate her transition into adulthood mostly on her own. Her story is tragic, because as parents, it’s our job to help our children thrive as they transition through all levels of their development, from infancy to adulthood.

Though we don’t know exactly what’s ahead for our kids, we can focus on helping them become self-sufficient now by teaching them 12 foundational life skills that will help them find success as adults.

Self-Management Skills

Knowing how to manage themselves helps your student become a team player at work and in life, making them a good leader, valued employee, cherished friend, and disciplined individual. Self-management can be taught by helping your student be fully present, build self awareness, have integrity, and make wise choices based on good values.

These skills make it easier to resist impulsive behavior in favor of doing what we truly believe is right, even if that “right thing” doesn’t come naturally. They require exchanging habits that don’t support your student’s values and adopting better habits that do, aligning their lifestyle now with the behavior that will help them succeed as adults.

1. Being fully present

This starts with showing up—coming to work, classes, and social meetings on time. Young adults and teens belong to the most connected yet socially isolated generation in history. As concerned parents, we need to give our students clear steps for turning virtual connections into real-life relationships.

But being physically present is only the first step. Your student also needs to be attentive, participating mentally and emotionally: making eye contact with speakers rather than tinkering with their phones; paying attention to what is being said rather than getting lost in their own thoughts; contributing helpfully to a conversation rather than changing the subject or making the conversation about themselves.

2. Being self aware

Self-aware people know what they are thinking, feeling, saying, and doing in real time. Internal monitoring is a difficult skill to learn, so periodically check in with your student about what they think or feel (without making any judgements). Simply reflect their thoughts and feelings back to them and let them determine how to proceed.

Pause the conversation with, “We are talking about ‘X.' How does that make you feel? What are your thoughts about ‘X’?” Help your student understand that feelings and thoughts are neutral. It’s the actions taken on unevaluated thoughts and feelings that cause trouble.

3. Having integrity

An old military handbook taught new recruits that integrity means knowing the wrong things to do, knowing the right things to do, and selecting the best right action even when no one is watching.

Integrity means that your student knows a range of possible behaviors and responses to their feelings—not just the “good” ones—and can decide for themselves which behavior or response best serves the situation.

4. Making value-based decisions

Values are what we believe to be most important in work and life. Our actions leave clues about what we truly value—not just what we say we value—because we subconsciously base all of our decisions on underlying values. Taking the time to help your student discover their values can help them become a stronger decision-maker. They’ll immediately be able to determine if a choice they’re making or a behavior they’re practicing truly aligns with what they believe is most important.

Relational Competency Skills

Strong relationships boost our mood, help us grow, and provide support when we need it. That’s why it’s vital for young adults to know how to make friends and keep relationships healthy. As parents, we need to remember that our students must be well-rounded in their relational skills. Participating in one-on-one relationships, small groups, meetings, and public speaking all require distinct connecting skills. It’s helpful for our students to know how to engage with others in each context.

The following practices build civility and relational savvy, which are desperately needed in our volatile times.

5. Keeping social commitments

Like self-management, relationships call for being present with others. As parents, we can ensure that our students have plenty of opportunities to interact with others face-to-face by allowing them to join shared-interest clubs, attend gatherings, and meet with peers one-on-one or in small groups. As your student becomes known in these groups, encourage them to make and keep social commitments and to look for outsiders they can invite to their groups.

6. Communicating

Being physically present is a good start, but without proper communication teens are unlikely to develop meaningful relationships. Many of our teens and young adults conduct the bulk of their relationships virtually, a few lines of text at a time. Online mediums are great for supporting robust relationships or making introductions, but if our students do not meet often enough in real life, their relationships turn anemic.

To help students improve their face-to-face communication skills, develop a list of open-ended questions that spark conversation. Memorizing these questions can help make students comfortable starting the kind of conversations that can turn strangers into friends.

7. Accepting people

Meeting new people presents challenges beyond just knowing how to converse. As your student leaves home and the familiar social connections, they’ll interact with people who have views and opinions that differ from their own.

Search your network for people who challenge your own perspective. Invite these relationships to come closer to you and your student, especially if you’ve been holding them at arm’s length. Encourage your student to ask questions and show interest. Afterwards, talk to your student about these differing perspectives, demonstrating empathy and acceptance for people who may not share your point of view.

8. Resolving conflicts

Your student needs to know how to handle disagreements without falling apart or burning bridges.

Clashes like this are most likely to occur when agendas collide or as a result of wrongdoing. One of my mentors trained his teams in conflict resolution by sharing various true conflict scenarios from his own experience. When telling his stories, he omitted how he resolved the crisis, then asked us to explain how we would handle the situation.

In the presence of competing agendas, it is best to seek an outcome in which everyone is heard, problems are solved, and everyone wins. When someone is wronged, it’s best to pursue forgiveness, and if the wrong-doing was very serious or harmful, restorative justice.

Resilience Skills

Your student will inevitably deal with failure and adversity in life. The question is: will they be defeated or will they allow those hardships to foster growth?

Recent studies on resilience demonstrates that the qualities of resilience are learned, rather than innate; and they are best cultivated before hard times hit. Those qualities are hope, a sense of purpose, self-care, and a solutions orientation.

9. Being Hopeful

Hope recognizes that things can (and will) get better. A hopeful person keeps problems in perspective without minimizing them. Stimulate hope in your student by encouraging them to practice gratitude. Remaining conscious of and thankful for everyday blessings helps them consistently focus on silver linings in the storms of life.

Similarly, reviewing their personal history of ups-and-downs leads to an outlook that believes adversity is temporary. Even in ongoing hardship, like a chronic health problem, you bounce back by finding your “new normal,” moving out of crisis mode into stasis. Ultimately, hope addresses your will and says, “Don’t give up.”

10. Having a sense of purpose

Purpose drives us toward a better future. In good and bad times, your student will find it easier to get out of bed in the morning when they focus their mental and physical energy toward something greater than themselves.

A psychologist from the University of Michigan, Dr. Kent Berridge, located the brain’s center for motivation. This region connects feelings of delight, desire, and dread. Exploring these three emotional responses can be a powerful tool for helping your student discover a sense of purpose.

• Delight. With your student, pinpoint productive activities that bring enjoyment. (Things that improve their skills, make them feel challenged, and cause them to lose a sense of time.)

• Desire. Ask your student what activities they want to do so much that they’d give up other pleasurable activities to do it.

• Dread. Ask your student about activities they try to avoid. (Public speaking, being outside, caring for animals, math…)

Desire and delight focus in on what their purpose is, and dread distinguishes what their purpose isn’t.

11. Practicing self-care

Good self-care means your student builds routines that meet their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs: exercise, nutrition and hygiene, religious practices, sunshine and fresh air, nurturing supportive relationships, and adequate sleep. Cultivating these practices in stable times makes it more likely that your student will keep up the good habits under stress, when strong health is most needed.

12. Being solutions-oriented

Even though life features peaks and valleys, plummeting fortunes take us by surprise, and we find ourselves floundering. Being inclined to look for solutions, however, helps us recover our footing more quickly because it points us to our next steps. This mindset means your student views problems as challenges to which a solution can be found. And this feeds hope.

Foster an environment in which problem-solving is championed. A solutions-oriented mindset requires creativity, a willingness to experiment, perseverance, and being unafraid to fail. (Which means we as parents shouldn’t hurry to rescue our students or solve problems for them. Instead, give them the space to work out their own solutions as you cheer them on.)

One final note: regardless of how prepared your student is, they need the confidence to know they can manage adulthood.

Despite how competent this generation’s young adults are, they can paradoxically feel unprepared for adulthood. They’re anxious, and many have an inflated sense of the impact missteps might have on their future. They worry about failing themselves and disappointing their loved ones.

Give your student opportunities to fail now, when the stakes are low. If they make a mistake, gracefully help them understand that the world didn’t end. Things will get better. Reassure them that your love for them does not hinge living an error-free life.

In the end, you’re not looking for perfection. You’re just trying to help your student make the transition from dependence to independence as gracefully as possible.

Outside of handing out life advice on our blog, Pearson Accelerated Pathways offers unique ways for students to attend college, whatever their life circumstances. Through our programs, students can get online college credit on a schedule that works for them and is guaranteed to transfer into the school of their choice. When you combine that with our custom advising, Pearson Accelerated Pathways is a good option for your student to succeed in college.

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